Imbak para sa Hulyo, 2007

being true…

Posted in broadband only, LOVENUTS on Hulyo 28, 2007 by defpotec

…hello again and welcome to another episode of lovenuts….

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Dear jones,

 

Piolo and I were introduced inside the workplace 3 years ago… at that time, he had a project and was assigned near my group. Piolo was everything that you could ask for in a guy. Tall, dark, handsome. A certified chick magnet. But inspite of all these qualities, im surprised that he remained humble and acts like a true gentleman.

 

back then I was just new, and people envied our closeness together. They would create gossip about us sharing the same area. But eventually, Piolo told me not to mind the rumors. He said that he’s used to it, and if he would let it affect him, then no work shall be finished. He also adviced me not to be affected by rumors,jones, for its just normal.

 

Months passed and I became a bit relaxed with my work and with seeing him. We would often have lunch together, and share stories of our past relationships. I found him more interesting as he opened up to me more. I would eventually find out that he’s dating this colleague of ours, although he kept it as a secret between us.

 

Piolo and I became closer during one summer in our company outing in boracay. All 3 of us, his gf, him and I would share one room, and go out drinking together at night. This would eventually create a bond between us jones, a bond that would eventually be the bridge of our affair.

 

Yes jones, I allowed myself to fall in love with Piolo. And whats worse is that we hid it from his girlfriend. He really kept it well and during the first few months of the relationship, and I was like walking in heaven. He would sneak kisses here and there, and we would go out and spend time with each other when his girlfriend wasn’t around.

 

Eventually, their relationship started to suffer when ours prospered. This led to the untimely breakup with his gf. At last jones, he was free, and I was free to tell the world that we are together legally.

 

But piolo wouldn’t risk it yet jones. He told me that it was too soon, and he was afraid of what other people might think about him. He said that he did this to protect me, to protect us. Somehow, I trusted and believed him.

 

Months went by and I really felt that our bond is at the strongest. I really didn’t mind now that eventhough we are 5 months into the relationship, he couldn’t tell this to everyone.

 

Jones, eventually there was one big rumor that will come as our biggest test. Somebody spread a nasty email questioning his gender. He was mad as hell upon hearing the rumor. He apologized to me and told me that these are blatant lies. I believed him jones, for I am with him. But I can do as much, and I can only affirm to him not to let the rumors affect him, and reassure him of my love.

 

Months passed but the rumors didn’t die. It started to affect our relationship. Piolo would see me less and less. I asked him whats wrong, and he wouldn’t answer me straight. He just said that it was about work and he’s just in a lot of stress lately. I would make it up to him by cooking for him and giving him a massage every now and then.

 

Jones, the day came when Piolo asked for breathing room, he told me he wanted to think things over regarding our relationship and where it would lead us. I asked him if this has something to do with the rumors spreading around, but he denied it. I assured him that I don’t care about the rumors, and whats important is our love for each other. He looked at me and smiled and planted a kiss on my lips.

 

After that night, he asked for time off, and reluctantly, I gave it to him just to save our relationship. I have offered and risked a lot for us jones, my career, my work, I even moved in with him against my parent’s advice. It just doesn’t feel right living life without him. I just don’t know how im going to survive if he breaks up with me. Piolo has become my life, I want to be with him, I want us to work, I want him back jones…I want to be…. Complete….

 

Thank you for the time you’ve given to shed light on my problem, youre all I need now jones. More power to you and your program.

 

Love,

SAM

(here’s a picture of the letter sender…listen on for my advice)

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want your love story be read?

send an email to:

lovenutsbyjones@yahoo.com(please also send a copy to defpotecjones@yahoo.com)

and if its good enough, it will be read.

 

report broken/non working videos at defpotecjones@yahoo.com

 

it just doesn’t end….

Posted in kung ano ano lang... on Hulyo 25, 2007 by defpotec

ang nakaraan

naglakad si defpotec sa isang mall na malapit sa kanyang tinatrabahuhan…nang may nakita syang isang babae may binibili sa isang tindahan.. nagpaimpress sya ngunit bigo sya… at ito ay nagdulot sa kanyang pagbili ng isang bagay na may di pangkaraniwang taglay na lakas.. pambihira ang bagay na ito…

at sa pagpapatuloy… ng “THE OBSESSION”

alam ninyong lahat kung sino si moo, at sa mga di nakaka alam… sya ang bagong diyosa ng kablobloghan…. (ok sige corny na!).. itong babaeng diwatang ito ay may taglay na kutis na mas makinis pa sa pwet ng batang elepante, ang katawan nya’y sing ganda ng bundok makiling, at ang kulay nya ay mas maputi pa sa kalapating mababa ang lipad… kung kaya’t bininyagan ko sya bilang official endorser ng triple JJJ papaya whitening peeling cream, one minutes dispel horniness

kung bakit moo ang naging bansag ko sa kanya ay di ko alam ang dahilan, pero marahil, dahil narin sa maikli, ngunit maabilidad ang aking dila at daliri kaya’t isang araw, imbes na natawag/natype ko syang, “MARU!! MARU!!” lumabas sa bibig ko ay, ” MOO!! MOO!!” pagbigyan nyo na ako, shortcut narin to dahil mas madaling i type ang moo sa mary maru.. oo aaminin ko, mataba ang aking daliri, at kung ipapatype mo ako ng mabilis ng letrang M-A-R-U, sa 10 beses kong ulitin yun, ganito minsan ang nangyayari: maru maru maryu maur maru maru mary mary m,rau… kaya moo nalang…!

ngayon, di ko lang alam kung itoy isang freak aksident lang, or sadyang magaan ang loob ng Dakilang Tadhana sa kanya, or mabantot talaga ang aking bibig… dahil sa aking paglalakad, meron na naman akong nakitang ‘wonder product’.. eto sya..

I BRING YOU!! NEW AND IMPROVED!!

TRIPLE JJJ MILK WHITENING PEELING CREAM!!!

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ayus! dali dali kong tiningnan ang directions.. aba! wagi! medyo inayos na nila! at di lang yun! dinagdagan pa!

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It contains the essence of milk, VC&E, lemon fibre, weakly acid alga gum, it can remove dead cuticle, and make your skin tender and white – teka, di na naman tayo nagkakaintindihan nyan e, ano ang VC&E?? wadapak is weakly acid alga gum? it can remove dead cuticle? tanggal ang kuko! patay na kuko! ok.. and make your skin tender and white… obvious naman na kung kaya nyang magtanggal ng patay na kuko, sisiw lang sa kanya paputiin ka and gawin kang tender…

  • Softens and gets rid of the corneal layer on the skin. – ok, whatever you say
  • Prevents the rough skin caused by dead corneal layer. – teka, may napansin ako a, parang inulit mo lang ang isanaad mo sa itaas ah
  • Cleanses the dirt and blackhead out of the pores in deep layer of skin. – no comment, abswelto ka dito.
  • Easily absorbs the whitening elements in this products. – which products are we talking about? i see only one!
  • Checks the formation of freckles, melanin and acnes. -checked!
  • Mild qualities, unhurt the skin. – nakakatakot man isipin, ano ang hurt na skin?
  • Gets rid of the dead cell of skin, restore a whitened, delicate and fresh skin. – kung totoo man to,lagut si belo!
  • In form of Gel with delicate flavor – flavor? strawberry? apple? pwedeng tikman?

bighani na ako… but wait, there’s more!!

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Usage: Apply appropriate amount of the product to the skin (without adding water), gently masssage with circular motion to get rid of dead cuticle, clean it with clear water, better use some skin lotion. -translatin ko sa aking pagkakaintindi: maglagay ng tamang dami sa balat, malamyang masahihin ng pabilog hangang matanggal ang kuko, linisin ng malinaw na tubig, mabuting gumamit ng losyong pambalat. Parang sabi nya sa taas delicate sya, pero nakakatanggal sya ng kuko?? tapos kelangan mo gumamit ng skin lotion? e diba lotion na nga ito? kungdi man, ano ito? acido?

Note: Avoid getting into the eyes, if it does, please clean it with water thoroughly. – ayus, atleast di na avoid getting into eyeball, and cleanly water washing… malaking imporvement ang engrish nila…

Gets rid of the dead cuticle on the face, hands, elbows and knees, Leave your skin delicate and bright. – ok na sana e, kaya lang sa huli pa sumablay.. kelan pa tayo nagkaroon ng patay na kuko sa mukha? sa siko at sa tuhod? di kaya pang mutant ang produktong ito? tapos kikinang pa ang balat mo!?

at sa pagtatapos, di na naalis ang mangha ko sa produktong ito… marahil alam nyo naman na si moo ang endorser nito sa pilipinas, ngunit dahil malamang sa language barrier , di nila ito naintindihan nung ako’y lumiham (sumulat) sa kanila at nag offer ng product endorser, eto ang maikling liham ko.

Dear UNIVERSAL COSMETICS CO., LTD.

greetings, i have seen your product (JJJ PAPAYA WHITENING PEELING CREAM) and was astounded by its promise. however, the poorly translated directions and description leaves most of its target market looking for another product with the same solution. If your company would be able to improve the translation, then it would equate to better sales.

Incidentally, a product endorser will be beneficial to the added sales of your product. Therefore, i have officially endorsed a local celebrity here (shhhhhh) to endorse the product. I call her, “moo”, i will be sending you her pictures for you to place it on the box. Our country loves endorsements made by credible models.

Thank you.

At eto ang nilagay nila sa kahon.. official endorser amp!!!

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the obsession…

Posted in kung ano ano lang... on Hulyo 24, 2007 by defpotec

naglakad lakad lang ako mag isa kanina sa isang mall na malapit sa trabaho… wala naman akong balak bumili… palipas oras lang.. tingin ng candy, eye candy ha.. when something caught my eye…

isang chick na may binibili sa isang stall… eto ako, manyak mode… lapit sa chick.. tingin tingin kunwari kung ano merong pwedeng bilhin..

eye contact sya sa akin… eye contact din ako sabay smile….

medyo namimili pa sya, kaya nag isip ako ng paraan para maka diskarte… kinuha ko ang isang mala orange na tube…

saleslading bisaya: gosto nyo pa bo yan ser? pampapoti…

likas na akong mapoti maputi, ewan ko ba kung anong demonyo ang pumasok sa saleslady na yun at yan ang kanyang sales pitch…

def: Magkano??

sb: sibenty payv nalang koya…

def: (wag po koya wag po…) ahhh singkwenta nalang…

sb: sige koya..

sabay tingin ako sa subject kong chick, langya biglang may dumating na mama, sinundo sya… putana, laking mama!! itim ng siko..

def: thank you miss.. (sabay alis..)

gusto ko sanang sabihin sa miss na sana inalok nya yung papaya cream sa syota ng babae, pero ayaw ko naman mabugbog…

bigo akong umuwi.. nabawasan ako ng 50 pesos… nakabili pa ng isang bagay na di ko naman kelangan…

pag uwi ko, tiningnan ko narin kung ano ang produktong nabili ko…

“JJJ PAPAYA WHITENING PEELING CREAM”

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ayus to… handa ko na sanang isantabi kaya lang binasa ko pa mga nakasulat..

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ano daw? tama ba nababasa ko??

“clean out horniness whitening, one minutes dispel horniness”

ayus!! ENGRISH!!!! di ko to palalagpasin!! shet!! para akong nanalo sa lotto!

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“Efficacy: This papaya whitening peeling cream by use of natural plant papaya withdraw the essence, vitamin B3, Vc, and mulberry extraction distillate, availability wipe off face die cell, restrain melanin, strengthen cell renovate, restra in melanin and blemish, skin whitening, look brand-new.”

tangnang yan.. may naintindihan kayo? withdraw the essence, vitamin B3, Vc (wtf is a Vc??), and mulberry extraction distillate… shet… parang science project gone bad to e..

availability wipe off face die cell, restrain melanin, strenghten cell renovate… -di kaya taga prisonbreak tong gumawa ng directions na to??

restra in melanin and blemish, skin whitening- wtf is a ‘restra’? wala sa www.dictionary.com , wikipedia, at sa wiktionary nito ah!

skin whitening, look brand-new!! pucha, i feel like a car!

“Use: Days for sub-two, first shall face wetness, and weild the product gently knead, then with cleanly water washing”

ok, i just dont understand… dahil ba sa wetness kaya ma didispel ang horniness? how do you weild the product? kelangan ba ng weilding machine? and how the fuck do you cleanly water washing?

” Notice: avoid into eyeball, if immodesty, shortly washing for cleanly water.”

tangnang yan… sumasakit na ang tyan ko sa katatawa… ano kala nya sa akin? ilalagay ko to sa mata? and if immodesty, shortly washing for cleanly water… sa tingin ko i dont need to shortly washing anymore, because my eyes tearing from strongly laffter..

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one lastly looking at produce wonderful.

tangna, tanggal nga libog ko dito.. katatawa..

it works!

P.S. – ngayon ako’y nakapahinga na at medyo nadagdagan na naman ng brain cells, isa lang ang naisip ko… pwede yata tong i-endorse ng moo ko… tingnan nyo, diba bagay? (paki gamitin ang imahinasyon na kunwari yan ang kanyang nilalagay sa may likuran ng kanyang balikat…)

never too late….

Posted in broadband only, LOVENUTS on Hulyo 21, 2007 by defpotec

editor’s note:

believe me, i tried to make it to the friday deadline, but my schedule just wouldnt…

anyways, i hope you just enjoy.. it was worth the wait….

LOVENUTS

“sometimes letting it out can make it smell different”

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please click the photo for the audio

if you dont have a login use this:

user: lovenutsbyjones@yahoo.com

password: luvnuts

or

watch/hear the video here…

its better heard than read!

and here’s the transcript for the hearing impaired:

Hello again and welcome to another episode of LOVE NUTS

 

Dear jones

 

I met rico online, in a certain chatroom last month, I was a newbie back then, and I was trying to move on from a previous relationship that didn’t work.. at first I was hesitant to make friends with strangers, especially in a place where you don’t even know where theyre coming from. But it was rico who made me feel comfortable and showed me the ropes of the online world. i never really liked him at first jones, because he was quite popular in the chatroom, he would greet everybody hello, and most would greet him back.

 

Rico would always pester me and send me a private message, at first I found it really irritable, and I wouldn’t answer him back.. but his persistence would eventually win over me, because I found myself longing for him everytime he wouldn’t bug me…

 

days turned into months, we got closer, and we exchanged text numbers… he would often text me sweet nothings during the night, and I would always find myself longing for his presence everytime he wasn’t online…I found myself missing him, and my heart would skip a beat every time I see him …. It was rico who showed me how to use friendster… and for the first time.. I saw how he looked…

 

I admit that I felt I was 16 again, having a crush on the highschool varsity player.. and I was really reluctant to upload my pictures at friendster, coz I was afraid that he wouldn’t like me… but it turned out ok. Rico asked me to meet up with him live in person the following day, but since I came from a strict family, I had to ask permission from my parents. My parents hesitated at first, jones, but somehow I was able to make them believe that I was going out to see some friends, so they agreed.

 

We met at a certain mall in pasig, and I felt really scared yet excited. The minutes were like hours, and I was going round and round.. I checked myself in the mirror a hundred times and i had to powder my nose every now and then…. And then there he was…standing in front of me

 

He actually looked better in person jones, and I felt my cheeks flush, he gave me a quick smile, and I swear I was like Cinderella, who just saw her prince charming…he had deep penetrating eyes, and his features were every girl’s dream. We exchanged pleasantries, and he invited me to watch a movie with him, to which I readily obliged.

 

After the movie jones, we had dinner and coffee, I found out a lot about him, and he’s much more interesting in person than in chat, but the one thing that bothered me, is that he is a bit childish at times. I found out that he was 2 years younger than me, which is problem, because I didn’t like younger guys. Pretty soon it became dark, and I had to go home coz I have a curfew. But he insisted in bringing me home… and when I arrived at my doorstep, he gave me the sweetest kiss. He told me that he loved me, and he asked me to be his girlfriend.

 

Things went so fast jones, I couldn’t help not kiss him back, I didn’t want the night to end, but I had to go inside the house, little did I know, my parents saw everything and were furious. They demanded to know where and when I met rico, so I had to tell them everything.

 

Jones my parents just couldn’t understand online relationship… perhaps it was the generation gap between us, so they grounded me for a month. I cried and fought for rico, for I really felt something about him, but they wouldn’t just accept my explanation. I pleaded for my freedom, and after crying buckets of tears and refusing to eat, they finally agreed to allow me to be independent, which is after I celebrate my birthday the coming month..

 

I waited like an eternity for that month to arrive, my cellphone was confiscated and I wasn’t allowed to use the PC. The only thing that made me hang on was the thought of seeing rico once more. Finally, I’ll have the freedom to do whatever I want. My mom gave me back my cellphone a week ahead so that I could be able to invite my friends for my birthday party. The first thing that I did was call rico. I was so happy that we talked on the cellphone for 3 hours. I made rico promise to come over on my birthday and be my escort, as well as to meet my parents. He agreed without hesitation.

 

The week passed and my birthday came. Our guests arrived and I was busy entertaining them. The night went on, and yet rico did not show up. I got worried and called him up, he said that he had car problems, and that he was on his way.

 

He never arrived that night jones, he just sent a text apologizing. He wanted to end our relationship, and confessed that he was seeing another girl whom he met in chat. I was shocked, and felt like dying. I collapsed and was rushed to the hospital. And after a series of tests, I was declared out of danger by the doctors.

 

What am I going to do jones? Why are men such liars? I accepted him even if he was younger than me and I fought for him, only to have my heart broken. Help me jones, I beg you. May this be your gift for me on my 87th birthday which I celebrated recently…

 

Thank you and more power to your program

 

Sincerely,

Ellen

 

(please listen on for my advice…)

 

 

 

 

want your love story be read?

send an email to:

lovenutsbyjones@yahoo.com(please also send a copy to defpotecjones@yahoo.com)

and if its good enough, it will be read.

 

report broken/non working videos at defpotecjones@yahoo.com

berdie bash…

Posted in the road to perdition on Hulyo 18, 2007 by defpotec

berday ni boss kahapon.. haba berdie tuyo, haba berdie tuyo, haba berdie haba berdie, haba berdie tuyo!!.. haba berdie bossing! may your berdie have many more to cum!

shempre kinaladkad na naman ako sa isang sikat na japanese resto sa isang 5 star hotel sa manila..

“sei masen!” ang sabi ng receptionist

“hai” ang sagot ko, pa bow bow pa.. feeling japon..

dinala kami ng receptionist sa isang private room na may teppanyaki table.. 5 kami…

lumapit ang japanese head chef..

head chef: ohayo gozaimasu.. i em chef mitsubishi e. toyota honda…, todey ay wir bee yor chefsan..

head chef: hapi berdei mr. gates-san.. mey ay suggestion? por todey, we hab spesyar…

nagbanggit ng mga pagkain parang galing ibang planeta…

oo lang ng oo si boss.. bahala na si chefsan..

head chef: ahhhh.. beri good!! domo arigatu gozaimasu…

sabay bow at alis.. (i swear.. nakita ko ang kislap sa mata nya)

appetizer: unagi sushi (japanese eel sushi) P 2350.00/set

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ahhhh.. shet.. sarap.. di ko madescribe ang lasa.. panalo to.. yung tama ang timpla at tamis ng eel.. tapos ipinatong sa sushi..4 ata nakain ko nito… rating ko dito 9/10.

1st entree: garden fresh sarad P340.00/pax

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ok lang, wouldve preferred kani salad instead.. so di ko masyado ginalaw ang salad na to.. hanapin nyo asan ang talong dyan?? rating: 5/10

2nd entree: some japanese soup i dont remember P 230.00/pax

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medyo maalat for me.. but its ok… sagot naman ni bossing e.. generous sila sa laman as you can see. definitely a treat from the generic miso soup. rating 7/10

3rd course: scallop sanamabitz in savory sauce P550.00/pax

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again the name escapes me… but the taste doenst.. the scallop was perfect..not undercooked, not overcooked.. it was large too!! the sauce is succulent. one of my fave! rating: 9/10

4th dish: gindara teriyaki P480.00

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hmmm ok lang.. dami nito sa teriyaki boy, tempura at iba pang jap resto…. nothing special. medyo kelangan ng pacing.. ang diet…. rating 6/10

5th dish: tempura in a pacute basket P650.00/pax

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again, nothing special except for the presentation…. taste is normal.. kumain ako ng kaunti… pace meal parin… rating 6/10

6th meal: us sirloin beef with vegetables P1800.00/set

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eto na.. let the big boys in!! medyo bilib din ako sa boss kong ito e.. parang walang bukas kung umorder.. lambot ng beef.. masarap.. malinamnam… kaya pa ba ng tiyan ko to?? rating 8/10

7th course: honey marinated pork ribs P2800.00/set

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panalo to!! astig!!! ngayon ko lang natikman ang ganitong sarap at lasa ng ribs! puno na tyan ko.. pero sige.. sayang e.. rating 9/10

8th challenge: wagyu kobe beef steak P3000.00/pax

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tana, nagulat ako sa presyo nito.. eto daw ang pinaka prime sa cut ng kobe beef.. tana tlga mga hapon.. kala mo si kobe bryant ang inihain sa mahal ng presyo.. kaya pala WAGYU, short for WAG YU oorder nito!!ang mahal amp!! hmmm for the sake of the price, inubos ko…

wagyu color: pinkish red

defpotec color: greenish red (sa busog)

rating: 6/10 (di pa ba tapos ang course?)

(di na ako natutuwa… gusto ko nang matapos)

9th course: handmade strawberry ice sherbet P180/pax

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so full na.. grabe.. pero sige lang.. kakahiya kay boss.. ubusin daw ang orders, sayang daw. siyempre like any model slave.. inubos ko parin.. ooohhhh.. ang tyan, puputok na…. ayaw ko na di na ako makaisip… rating: ?/10

itinawag ang bill…

…dumating ang bill….

..muntik na akong himatayin sa presyo at sa sobrang busog…

P32,680.00 +VAT + SVC charge = P39,869.60

kaching!! no wonder may kislap ang mata ni master chef!!

putana, di kaya to i charge to experience…. buti nalang andyan si boss!

take away course: Unko suru – free

wow!! this is the best ive ever had!!! not to mention its free.. words cant explain this.. just click too see.. rating 10/10

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mental state…

Posted in kung ano ano lang... on Hulyo 16, 2007 by defpotec

karamihan ng psychological conditions ko ay self induced…kabilang dito ang ADD/ADHD; MPD ; APD; OCD; SPS ; WPD; NBI; SSS; PAG-IBIG; ATBP.. im sure my fellow blogger DOC X can shed more light to you re these conditions should you have questions.

i, on the other hand will explain to you how it feels to have these conditions attacking you anytime of the day.. surely i can control them, but there are times that it randomly assimilates my brain.. like now.. i just noticed that im typing in english again.. tagalog tayo bro!! eto ang iba’t ibang scenarios at ang mga sumasapi sa akin:

SA GROCERY:

def: anong sabon kaya bibilhin ko?…

kunsensya: defpotec.. ako ang iyong…

def: oo na, oo na, kilala na kita, safeguard na naman ang ipapayo mo…

lumen: bat di ka mag surf? sing bisa pero di sing mahal?

def: ganun ba?

safeguard kunsensya: manahimik lumen..

lumen: di ikaw ang kausap ko! si def..

safeguard kunsensya: watta bitch..

lumen: look who’s talking..

mr. clean: tama na, wag nyo na akong pag awayan!!

def: !!!???

SA PAGSULAT NG BLOG:

defpotec: hmm ano kaya ang susulat ko ngayon??

Jose Rizal: bat di ka magsulat tungkol sa paggahasa ng mga kastila sa inang bayan?

Ernest Hemingway : what about me?

def: sino ka?

jose: si ernest hemingway yan, isang bihasang manunulat sa bansang amerika

def: no no, no like you, you go.. me dont english.

ernest: but the subject i offer you would be vast and countless…

andres bonifacio: SUGOD MGA KATIPUNAN!!!

gen. yamashita : 万歳!!!!

SA TRABAHO:

linus torvalds: windows sucks..

def: i know…

bill gates: yes i do, but you dont have programs!

linus: says who?

bill: according to 80% of computer users!

linus: but you’re a rip off!

def: guys guys.. can you take it easy?

steve jobs: did someone say easy?

bill: yeah apple’s easy, as easy as getting a blowjob in vegas! get it? stevejobs, blowjobs! <snicker>

steve: how come nobody’s laughing except you gates?

linus: corniness! there’s more humor in windoze blue screen crash

bill: why dont you both stfu?

def: <shuts down PC>

SA PAGKAIN:

def: gutom na ako, ano kaya kakainin ko?

jollibee: e di ang paborito mong chickenjoy at palabok

ronald mcdonald: wag kang maniwala dyan, mas masarap ang bigmac and chicken nuggets

Col. sanders: zinger!! atsaka hotshots!

dencio’s: crispy pata nalang

Burger King: double whopper with extra cheese and onion rings!

def: tumahimik kayo!!!! para walang away..orderin ko kayong lahat!!

…at dun sila nagrambol sa tyan..

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Top 5: Bosses i wanna work for

Posted in top 5 on Hulyo 13, 2007 by defpotec

kahapon wala akong masyadong magawa.. nagmuni muni, nag isip isip.. bukod sa aking napaka hectic na schedule, siguro kung bibigyan ako ng pagkakataon.. eto ang limang taong nais kong paglingkuran… wag na natin pag usapan ang sweldo.

5. Socorro Ramos -bookworm’s wet dream

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sa aking pagtanda pagbinata napansin ko na para akong sanggol na oras oras ay naghahanap ng dede gatas.. ang gutom ko sa kaalaman ay hindi lamang tumitigil sa google, wikipedia, forums, at blogs nina jon cabron, maruism, gingmaganda, bonniefazzyoo, isagani X, azrael666, hilig ko parin magbasa ng libro.. at san ka pa bibili ng libro kungdi sa paboritong National Book Store, or NBS…. tambay ako dito magmula noong ako’y bata pa.. mga libro ko noon, choose your own adventure series.. yung para kang tangang palipat lipat ng page. yung tipong lahat na daliri ng kamay mo ay gagamitin mo para lang gawing bookmark kung sakaling mali ang desisyon mo.

Kung boss ko sya, malamang paparequest ako sa warehouse ma assign, or dun sa quality control.. kung san pwede kong iuwi ang mga sirang libro, basahin at ibalik..

natatandaan ko nung akong nasa national bookstore last week.. may isang seksing chick.. grabe… nag eye contact kami. malagkit ang tingin nya, familiar sya..nginitian ko rin.. “Hi!” sabi ko, “lagi ka rin ba dito?”, habang nagpapa kyut.

“hello, ako nga pala si Ellen, minsan mga 3x a week..” sagot nya. “Mahilig ka rin palang tumambay sa adult section?”

(palpak, sira ang momentum ko) .. “ahh ako nga pala si Defpotec, gusto mong mag merienda muna?” resbak ko..

“sige..” ang sagot nya..

na ikinagulat ko.. syet.. san ko sya dadalhin? “obviously not le souffle

4. George Yang – big macs and flies fries

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dito kami napunta ni Ellen.. kasi mukha syang sosi.. sarap din dito sa mickey D’s.. medyo mas type ko ang burger nya kesa sa kabila..paborito ko ang BIG MAC, yung fries nya at chicken mcnuggets masarap din. kung boss ko tong si GY, di na ako pagpapasweldo sa kanya. pwede na sa akin ang isang branch ng Mcdonalds.. sapat na yun..pwede na pangsustento sa 1 pamilya… pwede pa akong mag aral sa Mcdonald’s university sa USA. wow.. stateside..with a bachelor’s degree on burgers..

manghang mangha parin ako kay ellen.. kinis nya.. pero parang may napansin ako sa kanya.. di sya masyadong kumakain.. bakit kaya?

“Def, i dont really feel like eating here…” sabi nya.

tumaas ang kutob ng dibdib ko… syet, palpak ata plan ko.. mukhang gastos to..

“can we go to another place to eat?” hirit nya.

“er… ok, lead the way..” last words ko

3. Tony Tan Caktiong – chickenjoy & palabok

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Panalo ka talaga Jollibee!!.. kung andito ka lang sa harapan ko!! mahahalikan kita!! Dito ako dinala ni Ellen.. much to my joy..chickenjoy!!.. kahit dala dala ko ang take out bag ng mcdo habang ina eyeball ako ng masama ng 45 na staff ng jollibee at parang gusto akong ipasok sa utility room at gamitin ang mga mops sa pagtorture sa akin. Ngunit isa akong diplomatiko, pumila ako..

“isang 2pc spicy chickenjoy, go dalandan juice, 1 palabok fiesta, burger steak at spaghetti.” yan ang inorder ko.

napangiti na ang staff…”would that be all ser? for dine in or take out?”

“no its for me..ahm additional asian salad pala for my date…”

na miss ko ang Crispy Bangus Belly nya! IBALIK NYO!!

pag boss ko si Tony, yan ang una kong request.. ang pagbabalik ng Crispy Bangus Belly.. atsaka 1 store ng jollibee… di lang pang 1 pamilya.. pwede pang 3..

2. Henry Sy – Mall King

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matapos kumain niyaya ko syang maglakad..pumunta kami sa MALL of ASIA.. unang tindahan na pinuntahan namin ay TK (toy kingdom) kung san tumingin kami ng mga laruan, tapos nagikot ikot sa SM department store..nagpababa ng kinain, naglakad muli hanggang sa mapagod..

“wanna watch a movie?” sabi ni Ellen.

without hesitation…i lined up sa sm cinema IMAX ticket booth..

1. Lucio Tan -a tycoon’s tycoon

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the movie set the mood.. nagdidilim na.. madilim din sa sinehan.. lumamig na ang panahon.. malamig din sa sinehan.. gininaw si Ellen.. inakbayan ko.. inumpisahan nya… uminit pakiramdam ko…

“jon, not here..” bulong nya..

napahinto ako.. WTF??

“sorry def pala.. heeheehee..” pakyut sya.. sira mood ko.. pakyut pa lalo.. “bring me someplace..” bulong nya habang kinagat kagat ang dulo ng tenga ko..balik lagnat ako

…. if you think you should bring her to a motel, go to page 36

…. if you think that you should get some drinks with her, go to page 94

choose your own adventure!!

Dinala ko sya sa isang bar.. available ang Beer na Beer, Carlsberg, COLT 45. di nya feel.. gusto nya ng S… ibang brand.. light beer daw ang gusto nya.. shet.. hassle to ah.. buti nalang may bagong COORS LIGHT!

nung naka tig 6 na bote kami, nauhaw sya. .umorder ng tubig.. yung ABSOLUTE .. tapos nagyayang mag hard drink.. TANDUAY naman daw.. ayus.. score

“do you mind if i smoke?” tanong nya.

“not at all.” sagot ko..

Winston Lights ang sinindihan.. may moments of silence…

” def, i have something to tell you, i have a long flight tomorrow.. im going to LA na.. sana ok ang flight ko…” sabi ni Ellen.

“which airlines ka ba?” balak kong ihatid

PAL, can you bring me there sa terminal 2?” tanong nya..

“but thats tomorrow night.. ” sabi ko

“its ok def, i have a room in Century Park Hotel, and im all alone.. is it ok if you accompany me?” sabi nya..

“WAITER BILL OUT!! KEEP THE CHANGE!”

epilogue:

pag gising ko sa umaga, nag iisa na ako.. tumingin ako sa tabi ko.. wala na sya.. naghanap ako ng note na iniwan.. wala, walang note, walang panty.. walang ebidensya ng night out with ellen.

mukang nanaginip na naman ako ah.. lagkit ng boxers ko… shet